Change Of Plans

     Isn't it funny that just when we think we have a plan something happens and changes the direction on us? That was me.  I had this long term plan of what trips husband and I were going to take, paying off debt, moving, upgrading our apartment even...

     Then life came and kicked me in the face.

     The Monday after my 30th birthday I was called into my boss's office and told I was being laid off.

     Three months after I just received all excellent reviews and a decent raise.  Just days after I finally relaxed a touch about money and treated myself.  Hours after a really good Monday morning routine.

     All smashed that quickly.

     I took the rest of the day and I went home.  I was feeling all the emotions.  All of them.

    Sad- I loved my job and wanted to stay, I wasn't ready to move on yet.

    Anger- this was a 10 billion dollar company cutting people to increase profits just a hair more?!
    Fear- what if I can't find another job? What if I never get back into my field?
    Optimism- maybe this is a great thing? I can finally take some time off and get into all the things I've always wanted to do but never had time for? Maybe I will find an even better job?

     I admittedly cried pretty much all Monday.  And was still emotionally raw until much later that week.  And it still doesn't feel good.  However, I do have to believe that I will find something better in a timely manner and this was just the push I needed.

    I'm a girl with goals.  I have plans.  Places I want to travel to.  Dreams to accomplish.  So I am taking this as a test of my own determination.  I've applied for a ton of jobs, heard back from a few, and am scheduling interviews.  I also went to the gym and slept in today.  A friend made me dinner and I got to spend time with my husband.

     I can always find that one scuff on a shinney penny, but now I am working on trusting myself and abilities.  I am learning my self-worth isn't tied into this position or with any company.  Oh, and I am learning exactly how amazing my friends are.  I've had friends reach out to me about positions at their companies, send flowers, send junk food (honestly, this is brilliant), send cards, and just listen to me be sad or angry or scared.

 So thank you to my amazing friends who reminded me of what really matters.  Honestly, you are the real heroes of this story.